If I start out my discovery with “Dear Steven” then I will be writing to myself, the “yo” form. If I do that, it would be easier for me to write to myself. But, I can just write without the address and it will be in the “tú” form. I think I use the tú form when I write for most of my discoveries because I naturally believe that I’m writing for others and for myself if I just write. Of course, there is the usted form but if I use that form, then my discovery would be very boring.
I think from now on, I’m just going to write boring day-to-day things. Not all of my posts would be majestic hits. And, I believe, at the present, there is a positive correlation between the amount of journal entries I write and my relationship with God.
About a month ago, I thought about not writing anymore. Why? Because, as I posted on Faithbook, my church youth group, I feel that “everything that has been invented has already been invented.” All my feelings, thoughts, experiences are all there. Someone who reads all my blogs will pretty much know me. There is nothing new under the sun. But, maybe a part of my argument is not true. A person changes over time. I’m not the same person before the Army; I’m not the same person while I was at Kuwait.
I miss my Kuwait days. No, I don’t relish the work or the “missions” I have to go to, although it is a great learning experience. I relish my off-time with God. There is a half-mile track about five minutes from my barrack. I would use that as my prayer-time with God. I would bring my Sansa mp3 player and walk or jog around the track listening and singing with the Christian music. When I pray or talk to God, same thing, I would leave my headphones on and just talk to Him. If people see me, they would think I’m just singing whatever I was hearing. The sky would be dark and there typically isn’t a lot of soldiers around. I would walk around and around enjoying myself with Him. Sometimes, I would even take a walk around our barracks complex and talk to Him, but every time I pass a person, I would lower my prayer to a whisper.
Here in El Paso, I do not have this luxury. Well, I could go to Fort Bliss and walk around and sing but it’s harder and I don’t want to waste gas to drive all the way there. And if I walk around my street, I don’t feel safe. I prefer to do this at night. I am limited to just walking around the confines of my room. Hmm, maybe I can install a 3D-projector and pretend I’m in the jungle or something.
I do have a few stories I want to write about but it isn’t as much as I normally write in a month’s silence. I will begin writing them soon, hopefully tomorrow. If I wait too long, like in a dream, I may forget the details.
Praise God!! I passed my PT test (53 push-ups, 53 sit-ups, and 16:15 run time). All I ask is my daily bread.
Today, I was forced to go to a BOSS (better opportunities for single soldiers) bash at a local park. My platoon sergeant thought it would be fun for us to go, but, it wasn’t that fun for me. I had trouble getting rides there only to find out later that it was optional. Others tell me what the event is going to be like: single soldiers mingling with each other with some sports involved and prizes. But I am not looking for a girlfriend in the Army nor am I going to sin against God. The music there was blaring and on the whole time. It’s all about rap, hip-pop, rock and roll, etc. Sinful music, I refuse to dwell with them. I spend the entire day making praise and prayer walks, napping, praying, reading the Bible, and singing songs. It was a great alternative. One of my friends saw me walking alone and called me telling me I shouldn’t walk alone. I told him that I’m “walking with Jesus.”
And then there was the talent show in the afternoon. I did not participate because if I must boast, let me boast about my weakness (2 Cor 11:30). I was actually thinking about singing a Chinese Christian song (是愛) or “My Father’s World,” but too bad I didn’t know all the lyrics.
Everytime when I listen to music, everyone’s music is always louder than mine. The techinal reason is because they have louder speakers while I just use my laptop speakers.
The spirital reason however, is becasue God speaks to us in a “still, small voice.” The music I always listen to, of course, is Christian music. It is music that glorifies and worships the Lord my God. The God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob. The God who loves me and created me.
The reason I live is to worship you.