11/20/2016: MDWG

9:05pm – (session continues)

God, teach me and lead me. I feel so overwhelmed. God, I’m starting my devotion early because of future events. Jesus, You are the King of my life.

God, you know my needs and my desires. Help me to seek You. And God, may you satisfy me, come quickly and do not delay! Whom have I in heaven but You, and whom have I on earth besides You? It will always be You. It will always be You. It will always be You. Ten years from now, twenty, thirty, to the end of my life, it will always be You. You are the God who sees my heart, You are the God who judges righteously. You are the God who provides, who gives me victory in the land of Jacob, in the land of Shem.

My ways confuse but help me to seek Your ways. The games I play, I tend to follow my desires or compromise, but if I look further, pleasing You in the end, is what’s best for me. Give me faith to trust in Your promises, that You are truly good. You are.

(session continues)


Song: All I ask- Meredith Andrews

11/17/2016: MDWG (My date with God)

11/17/2016: MDWG (My date with God)

10:54pm – (session continues)

God, nothing can stop my dates with You. Be it temptation, sins, troubles, pains, hardships, failures, nor anything can stop me from being with You, from spending time with You.

God, I need your supernatural grace and deliverance. I need more of You, O God, and less of me. Jesus, please reveal more of You and help me to control and rein in my fleshly desires. You are Jehovah Jira. You are the God who provides.

These games I’m playing, it doesn’t give You glory. Whenever I need rest, let me not rest in games, or alcohol (You know I don’t do it), …, or anything that is of this world, but in You. You are the God who gives us perfect rest, who gives us perfect peace. You are the God where power, true power, comes from.

If anyone wants wisdom, they should ask You. If anyone wants love, true love, they should ask You. You are the God who gives liberally. You are the God who gives everything good.

God, you know my desires. All my longings are an open field before You. My times are in Your hands. Let me walk in paths that are safe. Let me eat a dry crust with peace and safety than a fattened calf with strife and danger. Let me be in second place with peace and safety than first with hatred and danger. [When I’m driving. Drivers sometimes feel driving is like a race.] Our race, O Lord, our run, is not in the fleshly battlefield, but in the heavenly battlefields of faith and love.

God, I thank you for today, be it good or bad, as long as you are in control, I thank You. Continue to teach me wisdom and grace, and hope and love and discernment.

Thank you God. (session continues)

1/11/2011: Holy Spirit Rain Down

1/11/2011: Holy Spirit Rain Down

S: 8:51pm

E: 9:05pm

I was going to go to sleep because it’s past bedtime for me, but, I told myself that before I can go to sleep, I’m going to sing a 讚美之泉 song. I randomly chose to listen to “Holy Spirit Rain Down (聖靈降下恩雨).” It is when listening to this song that I felt compelled to write a discovery. Right now, I feel my body, soul, and spirit is in another civil war, this time, civil war to let Christ live instead of me. It’s going to take time. Slowly, as I give more of me to Christ, I can feel my desires to play games and the desires of my flesh decrease.

Today, I went to a MWR trip to Kuwait! It’s my first such trip and it’s.. wonderful. I visited the National Museum, a weaving museum, and the Kuwait towers. Lunch was expensive, but so delicious! When I got back in the afternoon, however, I was spent. I decided to play some computer games after uploading my December 2009 discoveries to my blog. Uploading has been a long process partly because I have so much journals and also because it’s emotionally touching to reread my past. I can feel myself, my feeling and thoughts, and see myself from my more closer-to-God perspective.

I played Hearts of Iron, this time, as Great Britain. However, although I felt I did pretty good, I felt I wasted so much time. Coming back from the MWR trip and being spent is no excuse to play games. I should seek my comfort and strength not in games but in God. Slowly, as I try to let Christ have more and more of me, I can eventually say that it is “no longer I, but Christ” who lives in me.

And also, the ring from God arrived yesterday!!! I’m going to record that special moment when I’m ready. Hopefully it will be soon.


1. 聖靈降下恩雨    潔淨醫治我

我需要你    我需要你    你來充滿我

2. 聖靈因你的愛    我願意順服

我好愛你     我好愛你      愛你的同在


充滿我     充滿我      用那溫柔的愛光照我

充滿我     來充滿我      時刻都充滿我


Holy Spirit Rain Down

18 Apr 09

[written diary]

18 Apr 09

End: 1041

I am just so weak. I’ve seen God’s love and God’s faith but still I refuse to follow Him. I dreamed dreams but still that’s not enough. Why do I sin against God so much? Why do I challenge God so much? Now I have to do CQ and I’m tired. I don’t think I will have the energy to stay awake but I know that God will still help me. God will make a way, even when there seems no way. I think and believe that God is punishing me for my lack of faith. I think, due to signs and dreams, I have God’s OK to tutor children. But I must worship God all the time. I must not fail again. I think CQ is God’s way of helping me defeat myself. Less of me and more of Him. I also must be longsuffering. Not just to other people, but also with my sinful self. Still, it will be a while before I actually try. I want to be a better believer, soldier, and tutor.


18 Apr 09

S: 1245

E: 1257

I remember when I was young, my mom would have me read a chapter of Proverbs a day, 31 in all. Thanks to her guidance, I am now a good, nicer person. The book of Proverbs is very important because it teaches you the laws and commands of God. It comforts me to know what God can do for us when we behave (heh) and follow Him. I guess, no, I should have taught Proverbs to my children (students) during summer. But no. I chose the dark path of sin and indiscipline. I. there’s a lot of bad that I have done. But God still loves me and he disciplines me. I should have followed Him the first time but I failed. If I do have another chance with children, I would do what my mom did. I would have them read a chapter of Proverbs a day and then write about their thoughts, reflections, etc. It would be like free-writing.

However, I must obey God and follow His will. I might want to start memorizing specific Bible verses.


18 Apr 09

S: about 1500

I just have to suffer. Everyday, all of the way. I have to suffer from other’s painful attacks, from my sinful self, and my weak body. And of course, from Satan, the cause of all evil.

Heh, without Satan, I would be in the Garden of Eden, singing praises to God. But no. Bue to sin, I am in a world where people lie, steal, and kill, a place where wars and rumor of wars never end.

I suffer during the weekday so much that I look forward to the weekends to rest and recooperate myself. Now, even in the weekends, I have to suffer greatly.

Can there be no end to my suffering? No, until Jesus comes to establish His righteous kingdom on Earth or until I die, for when I die, I will be at rest, with kings of the earth.

Will I be able to withstand the suffering? To take it and move on? Nothing but the blood of Jesus, sweetest name I know.


18 Apr 09

S: 1528

Proverbs 4:16: For they cannot sleep till they do evil.

How many times has this verse applied to me! I cannot sleep until I play some computer games. I cannot sleep until I satisify the desires of my flesh.

I must learn the way of the righteous.