2017.2.15: My Date with God

2017.2.15: My Date with God

God, it doesn’t matter how much You give me. I’m still going to love You. It doesn’t matter how much you give me compared to others. It doesn’t matter God, if you give someone a billion dollars and you only give me a penny. It doesn’t matter how much you give me. I’m still going to love You. Your praise will always be on my lips. Even if you stop giving me. Even if you cut me off, God, what You have done for me is already so much for me. So much for us.

It doesn’t matter if I incur abuse from people, from people who love You or not. It doesn’t matter if they say things that hurt me. If they say things that are true but very painful to me. No matter what I do, no matter what happens, I’m still going to love You. Your praise will always be on my lips.

It doesn’t matter if people make me feel rejected. It doesn’t matter what people do to me or how I interpret it. I’m still going to love You to seek You, to at least try, to try my best. Your praise will always be on my lips.

And it doesn’t matter if people hurt me even more, when they say that I don’t love You, that I don’t really seek You that I don’t really love You. Well, God, I’m still going to love You, I’m still going to seek You. If I suck at loving You, at seeking You, then I’m still going to love You to seek You. Your praise will always be on my lips. Even if I’m going to hell, O Lord, I’m still going to love You and worship You and seek You for the rest of my life, at least try, but I’ll try to try my best, because I know You love me. I know You are the one true God. The God of heaven and earth. You will have your bride.

And God, I will still love those people. I will still try to love those who hate me, or who have hurt me, whether righteously or not. I will still love them, I will still pray for them, I will still bless them. That is the difference. They may curse they may attack me they may do anything to me even say that they love me that’s why they do these things to me. But God, help me not to take revenge. Help me to continue to bless them, to pray for them. To love them. Thank you God. To love your family, to love your people, to love all those that You have made.

If they tell me that me blessing them is actually more evidence that I hate them, then God, Your praise will always be on my lips. Then I will hug them, to love them, to kiss them out of love. To give them a fish, to give them what is good. Not to show off, but to show that I love them.

So God, regardless of what people do to me, regardless of what you give me, regardless of where I am compared to others, I will still try and try to try my best to love You and to seek You. Your praise will always be on my lips. If you take away my penny or what is worth my life and I die, then I will die still trying to love You and seek You. I will die a seeker.

So God, I thank You for giving me the ability to survive, to praise You, to worship You, to love others, and to pray and bless my enemies. If they want to kill me, I will not resist. I will put myself in Your hands. And if I die, I will die seeking You, I will die trying to love You. I will die an overcomer.

Thank you Lord, thank you Jesus.

And help me Lord, to continuously pray for those around me. I will raise a spiritual aura. I will raise a continual aura of prayer. Of blessings. Of You. Thank you Jesus. Thank you God. Give me strength.

And to add, it doesn’t matter if nobody reads my blog or not. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because I love God. It doesn’t matter as long as I try to seek You and love You. Thank you Jesus. Thank you God. Your praise will always be on my lips.

a-new-commandment
A new commandment I give you: Love one another as I have loved you. John 13:34

 

9/29/2013: I’m Back! and I will only be able to be back with God

9/29/2013: I’m Back! and I will only be able to be back with God

S: 11:50pm
E: 12:37am

[written]

I know I haven’t written an entry in about a month. Maybe I should write more often. I think one thing that is keeping me from writing is the fact that I can see how many views from other people in my blog. In this blog, this discovery, I hardly get any viewers and it discourages me from writing. Why should I write if nobody reads them? I know my motivation for writing should be because of myself. And I know that the greatest beneficiary of writing, personal writing, should be me.

[typed]

I know in this world, I can only trust God. God will always know and will always love while people can change their minds. I need God and other people to prosper but I only need God to survive. By surviving, I mean having eternal life and thus being alive. When this world is so cruel and injustice so prevalent, or when life is good, in both times, I can always talk to God who understands me. When people refuse to understand each other, when many people find enjoyment in hate, God gives me the wisdom and logic to counter them. When I lose, it is because I didn’t have God. When I win, it is because God is with me. And I count what other people see as a loss with God as a win. With God, I win.

I want to start writing more again. I want to increase my view count. I can try, but it is really God who makes me succeed. Thus, even though I want to increase my view count, I will try not to worry about it because part of the equation, or most of it, is out of my control. I will focus on what I can do. What I can do to increase my viewcount is to write regularly. So, I will try to write every Saturday for my readers.

I know whatever I do, and I think whatever people do, there will be people who disagree with me, and there are some people who want me to fail. I know one person who wants not just me but everyone human to fail is Satan. He tried to fail Adam and Eve from the beginning and, thanks to God, Adam and Eve prevailed.

There is a myth which states that people without many friends or connections or a good job have little influence in the world. That myth may be partially true, but in one context, it is wrong. Every Christian, regardless of who many friends or connections that person has, could be a powerhouse. A Christian is someone who loves God and if that Christian were to spend his time praying, he or she can move mountains. Some people may say that a Christian without “connections” or friends will be less powerful but I somewhat disagree. Relationship with God is more important that a Christian’s relationship with his or her friends. A good relationship with God gives the Christian spiritual power and the spirit is higher and stronger than the world. Other people may say that in order to have a good relationship with God, one needs to have a good relationship with people. That is somewhat true. The Bible tells believers to love God and to also love people. However, a good relationship with people and having many human friends are not the same thing. One can have many human friends not because of that person’s character but because of worldly traits such as wealth, prestige, power, etc. What matters is that the person is kind and loving to other people. As long as that person is kind and loving, no matter how few or how many friends that person has, he or she has a good relationship with people. But, we must not forget the Source. What makes a person kind and loving towards people? It is because that person is overwhelmed by the loving-kindness of God.

I can continue to write but I am trying to sleep at a semi-decent time. I have a prayer meeting from Intervarsity at 11pm and I want to go. I tried to go last week but I woke up at 11pm :(

8/23/2010: My dream, the Lord looks at the heart and girls

8/23/2010: My dream, the Lord looks at the heart and girls

S: 3:13am

E: 5:13am

I was going to go back to sleep but I had a dream and a few teachings that I remembered from <i>Way of the Master</i> that I want to share. To obey is better than sacrifice (1 Samuel 15:22). I thought of something, a few inspirations, that if it gives glory to God, cannot be delayed. I wanted to sleep, but I must obey God rather than my flesh. Hmm, if Peter teaches us to obey God rather than men (Acts 5:29), how much more do we need to obey God rather than our flesh?

[Note: This is kind of embarrassing, but I still need to post it truthfully because my God is the god of truth.]

I dreamed of Ben K as a youth pastor, leading the worship service. This time, he has gotten famous and is leading worship services for many different churches (in my dream, different FECA churches). I remember helping out the bulletin so Ben Ku can perform in our church (FEC-SGV). After that performance, I remember myself going into one of his worship services. He is singing Christian songs (songs we used to sing at CIA) but he looks different. He looks bearded up, like a hippie. Sorry about my description, but it’s according to my dream. I saw how he keeps talking to worldly people and how he tries to gain acceptance from them (secular, Rock & Roll crowd, etc). I felt that he is going astray as a Christian to be acceptable to the world. I decided to talk to him. I hope he still remembers me. I know he still remembers me; I was with him back in 8th grade (it’s true, and it’s in the dream). I tried to talk to him, and looking at how busy he is and with somebody from the world that keeps following and talking to him, I decided that my best bet is to ask to speak to him privately. I asked if I can speak to him outside. I was having trouble talking and getting him to agree with me because I wasn’t that important to him. He just remembers me. As I kept trying, we naturally stepped outside, which the ground is snow (I didn’t feel cold and it wasn’t snowing; I’m just writing what I know for sure in the dream). I found myself outside in the snow, behind a pickup truck (I only remember the back open trunk, not the truck itself). There was initially two people on the truck. One got off (a girl, I think, and both Asian) leaving Deborah S on the truck. I said, “Deborah, please stay with me.” I needed her help just in case. I told Ben K how he wasn’t the youth pastor he used to be (a person who follows and loves God) and how he needs to be “Asian” again. He is still wildly popular to all Asians (don’t ask, it’s my dream). Then, from inspiration, something told me to pick up a chuck of snow and try to use it to play with him. I picked up a chuck of snowy ice and half threw at his snow boots (they look strangely like my Army boots). I want him to remember his past. Seeing the snow reminds me of the Alpine retreat camp, a retreat which I have strong memories on. Something awakened inside him and he bent down, made a snowball, and threw it at someone. I thought it was going to miss, but it hit someone (a young girl, someone I knew back then, from church). Everybody in the dream were people I knew, but when they were in middle school. I thought she might react to the hit, but she just ignores it and continued to run. I had a feeling that I succeed in my mission and I woke up.

While waking up, I thought about Gabriel M’s status update that said, “There is a God, but he won’t wipe your butt for you (something like that)”. My mind gave me counter-arguments but mostly to challenge atheists and to convince them that there is a God. Basically, my argument to atheists that there is a God is this:

If you look at the evidence on both sides (God vs. no God), the evidence shows that there is a God. All you need is something that is supernatural to believe that there is a God; do you really think this whole world is made by chance? Where does matter come from? How can a variety of matter exist out of nothingness?

My God, the living God, is a God who made me and knows me; He knows my name.

Psalms 139:1  O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.

2  You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3  You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.

When he made me, he knows that we need a Savior to save us from death.

And also, people who like to attack others; to bring other’s down, will not succeed for it is God who humbles and exalts:

1 Samuel 2:7  The LORD sends poverty and wealth; he humbles and he exalts.

8  He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honor. “For the foundations of the earth are the LORD’s; upon them he has set the world.

For people who attack others by saying that they are nothing, they are right! The Bible says we are nothing. We are the clay, he is the potter. We need him to make us into something, a holy instrument used by the Lord (2 Timothy 2:21). We all are nothing, we all are weak, we all need God.

Let’s use the example of David and Goliath. How many people, before the actual battle think David will win? Not much. How many people think Goliath will win? Probably most. Yet, it is the person the world thinks will lose that wins.

Isaiah 40:28  Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

29  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

30  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;

31  but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

1 Corinthians 1:27  But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.

So when people attack me by saying that I’m nothing, they are right. I am nothing, but it is God who can make something out of nothing.

One of my pet peeves is people who attack the person (their weaknesses, faults, deficiencies) rather than helping the person build him/her up or to find ways to improve areas of weaknesses. They are the ones who attack the builders rather than the building. They attack, criticize, judge with the intention of demoralizing their victims.

James 3:8  but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

9  With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness.

10  Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.

Psalms 140:1  Rescue me, O LORD, from evil men; protect me from men of violence,

2  who devise evil plans in their hearts and stir up war every day.

3  They make their tongues as sharp as a serpent’s; the poison of vipers is on their lips. Selah

4  Keep me, O LORD, from the hands of the wicked; protect me from men of violence who plan to trip my feet.

Back to Jerusalem, a Chinese Christian organization built by multiple house churches in China, plans to sent 100,000 missionaries in the countries between Jerusalem and Beijing. The second they unveiled their plans to the world, criticism followed. Critics attack the plan, the organization, anything to prevent, what they think won’t happen, from happening.

Acts 5:38  Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail.

39  But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.”

In their article “Dealing with Criticism- Lessons for Serving God” BTJ started the article with:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong

man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The

credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred

by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes

short again and again; because there is not effort without error and

shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the

great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause,

who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who

at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place

shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor

defeat.”

– Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919), 26th President of the United States

www.backtojerusalem.com

The article wrote that Noah, Moses, David, Nehemiah, most OT prophets, and many others were the targets of criticism. Some people try to make their opinions become reality by attacking the individual hoping that, in the end, does become reality. But, praise God, I know that my God is strong and that my God is loving.

Psalms 62:11  One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong,

12  and that you, O Lord, are loving. Surely you will reward each person according to what he has done.

Some people make a living by attacking people. Others make a living by helping people. Some people are good. Some people are evil. Which side will you be on?

If this blog doesn’t offend you, then you have nothing to worry about. This blog will only offend those who deserve to be offended. May it give strength to the weak but a sword to those who destroys.

————————————

Now a change of subject.

I find that girls in Taiwan are so beautiful. Nowhere else in the world can I find girls as beautiful as those in Taiwan. It seems every girl I see is pretty and cute. But, I cannot chase them nor will I allow my eyes to cause me to sin (despite the fact that I tried, I still lusted with my eyes and thus, sinned). I told my mom that I won’t chase any girl (even though I really, really! want to) because there is another girl I promised God to. It’s so painful, almost like torture. When my relatives asks me if I have a girlfriend (their intension is for me to get a girl in Taiwan), I told them yes (hesitantly). I cannot love another. I told my mom that after my seven years, I will just give my life to God.

Beautiful girls, all over the world / oh I could be chasin’ but my life would be wastin’ / I need to follow God, baby / I need to follow God, baby.

Haha.

Oh, I almost forgot. I remember one time when James and me went into our church’s conference room at the office. On the conference table, I remember seeing a marker that reads: “Are you focusing on the problem or the solution?” James and I laughed but the problem of destructive criticism is real.