10/19/2011: My notes during CQ shift
E: about 2100
Today I have charge of quarters watch (CQ)!!!! yay. Nah, just kidding. I really hate CQ or staff duty or any other duty that requires me to be awake for 24 hours straight, so, I’m just going to write whatever is on my mind. I can always have a lot of things to write and writing helps me pass the time.
I’m tired, like always, and I know that I should be trying to sneak in naps instead of writing but I’m still going to write. I have a lot of things to write in my heart.
First off, even if nobody loves me, cares about me, or have anything positive about me, I must still be able to love, care, and do anything that is good or right. Even if everybody only receive, I must still give. I need to do this because my life and my circumstances are not dependent on what happens to me in this world, it is not like shifting sands, but it must be like the solid rock of Christ. I must love because God is love. I must care because God cares about us.
I have so many worries, and yes, so many problems and faults. But, I can tell, and thus give, my worries to God, and ask God to change me, to transform me, and although the process may be long, someday perfect I will be.
When I think of an angel, I sometimes think of Archangel Tyrael in Diablo II. He has two wings, yes, but he also has many limbs. These limbs are useful to fight against evil. I also want to be like an angel and, like him, I also want to have many limbs.
To me, these limbs symbolize my efforts to change the world for good. I have my music creation limb, which I play Christian music on my guitar and publish it on Youtube. I have my “my story with God” limb which enables me to share with whoever wants to read my life experience but, more so, with God. I have my music video making channel on Youtube which enables me to post Christian songs I love but are not found on Youtube. I, too, need to share with the world God’s songs. Some of my less-used limbs involves my commenting on Yahoo! News. I want to share with the world what Jesus would do and to help change other people’s opinions not just about the revelent topic, but also about God, and to be a voice of wisdom and of truth. I also have a limb that enables me to help people on Yahoo! Answers. I read questions and the user’s answers and I’m disappointed how so many of them lack God’s wisdom and are even destructive. I choose to answer their questions with love and concern.
Oh and my computer got hacked. So many things happened during the last two weeks that could of made me easily want to give up: My guitar broke, I lost all my personal files (the windows backup I did did not contain the files I truly want), I cracked my toenail while playing soccer last Thursday and over-extended my foot ligaments. But, I don’t know. In a way, my sky is falling, but in another way, I somehow find the strength to continue. I find the answers in God alone.
It’s ok if I lost all my personal files. Just give me my basal needs and my Bible. That’s all I need in this world. It’s okay if my guitar broke. I have other worlds to sing in. I can focus my effort on doing other productive work I never had time to or thought of like making Christian music videos, or helping people through Yahoo!. It’s okay if my feet is injured. My toe-nail managed to fuse and I’m healing without pain. My ligaments, although it hurts, is not severe. Plus, I get a break from excruciating regular PT. I dislike regular PT now because it is so hard. And it’s okay I have this CQ shift because I will then have a four-day weekend! I just have to get through the last 13 hours….
I need to spend time with God more. I need to do more prayer walks. I really want to buy a acrostic guitar so I can sing and smile and walk.. and pray.
I’m making good progress on my educational front. I was able to update my home college through the Army education center and I got most paperwork done. I’m planning to take Spring semester at EPCC (El Paso Community College) and work on my associates in Social Work and then transfer to UTEP for my bachelors.
Oh, and another thing. Today, a few of our battery NCO’s came and one of them began to talk about making web apps for mobile phones. While they were talking about it, I remembered my desire to make an improved version of Spiritual Warfare, a Nintendo game. I began to share my idea to him and while I was still speaking, he told me to hush and then told all two sergeants to listen. I repeated my idea to them.
It’s kind of hard for me to explain on writing but I’ll do my best. In essence, it’s kind of like a Legends of Zelda game but instead of throwing swords, you throw fruits, spiritual fruits at unbelievers. Each fruit is like a weapon and it represents different things. An apple symbolizes patience. It travels in a straight line, far range, and travels slowly. A banana represents faith and it has long range, travels straight, and goes very fast. Each time a fruit hits an unbeliever, he “converts” and you get points. He may also drop money, but in this game, it is called “faith.” You save up faith points to buy more and better fruits and also items. There is also kind of like a world map. You start off in a relatively tame area, the park, and you work your way into the city, then the slums, then the jails, and then Satan’s stronghold. Each key area offers an Armor of God piece. In the park, for example, you pick up the Belt of Truth which enables you to move boulders. You move that boulder to get into the city. Each armor piece has a special function. That is Spiritual Warfare, the Christian computer game I loved and played long ago.
In addition, I want to add a “talent” tree, like an RPG game. The name of each talent would be from the fruits of the spirit. There will be a spiritual gift of “patience” or “love” or “faith,” etc. Each talent would help the character in that area. And instead of a one-hit KO on unbelievers, they would have different hit points and it would take multiple fruit hits to win them over. It’s going to be so fun! All I need is someone who’s good a graphic design, and someone who can program in flash.
My sergeant from my battery told me if the game developer likes the idea, he/she may do it for free. Of course I would split the profit from the game with him (from ads), but the game must be free so everyone can play it. I want everyone to be a Christian soldier!
Gosh, I hate CQ. It would be impossible for me to write for the next 12 hours. If I am able to write this long, this blog would be more like a book! Lol.
Again, in the Army, everyday is hard. I can’t wait to get out of the Army. I have just 6 months to go but those 6 months feels like eternity. I’m not sure if civilian life would be just as hard as the Army although I hope not. In a way, I may be able to treat my experience in the Army as basic training for civilian life. Maybe God is preparing me in the Army so I can follow His will when I become a civilian.
I can’t wait! I will use my post-9/11 GI-Bill and get my tuition, hosing, and basic needs taken care of. I may even have my room for myself! It would be freedom; I would be truly free. No more formations, 24-hour guard shifts, feeling like I’m wasting my life going to work (I’m only going to work just to get paid..), and having to deal with people who think they are better just because they served more time in the Army (rank). In the civilian world, there will just be Mr. and Mrs. and maybe a few Dr.’s but that’s alright. They earned it.
Okay, I’m done writing for now and God bless!
Okay, I’m actually not done yet. I just remembered something important I want write. In almost all Army units, down to the battery level, there is sign that counts how many days since a alcohol-related incident has occurred. Units with more than 90 days gets a saber award on their guide-on (banner). I’m thinking to apply that military concept into my own life. Just instead of drinking alcohol, because I don’t drink, it would be how many days since I last checked pornography. That is an issue I struggle with. And it has hurt me tremendously. Only the One who is able was able to lift me out of the mire. It would be embarrassing to display it publicly but I may decide to for accountability reasons.
And speaking about how my computer got hacked because I opened a scam “UPS package” e-mail, it made me wonder about my spiritual life. How many times has Satan “hacked” my life? For computers, it’s e-mails, malicious programs, spywares, etc, but for humans, it’s temptations. Temptations to do it my way instead of God’s way. How many times have I let viruses, spyware, and trojans of the heart into my life? I do have an anti-virus program and, luckily, I have the only one that truly works because it is “sharper than a double-edged sword” (Hebrews 4:12). I must increase my spiritual firewall by being like Joseph and flee from sin. I must increase my scanning capabilities by increasing my wisdom through the Word of God. I must increase my spiritual protection by spending more time with God.
This hacking incident may actually be a blessing. Thanks to this incident, I am actually organizing and taking care of my computers. It woke me up and helped me to re-prioritize my time to God. It helped me change my small notebook laptop (the one I’m typing now) to Linux, which so far, is superior to Windows. It helped remind me, thanks to last Sunday’s sermon, to build God’s house first before building mine. The first files I’m going to organize is not my pictures or discoveries but His music. I will finish building God’s house in my computer before focusing my attention to building mine.
Okay. Now I’m officially done. May the blessing of God be upon you.