11/24/2016: MDWG (My date with God)
12:39am – (continues)
God, I feel so attacked. I feel like they want me to die, they want me to disappear. But God, as long as I seek You and follow You, I will love life. I thank you Jesus, for everything that You have done for me. I give thanks to You, O God, for what You have given me. If I find that I have no favor, help me to just seek You. If I find that I am poor, help me to just seek You. If I find I have financial difficulties, relationship problems, broken relationships with people, help me to just seek You. I will seek You until You restore my fortunes and I will yet continue to seek You. I will seek You and love You until the hate is over, until the storm is over, until there is peace from You. If I am sick, I will seek You until I am well again. If I’m doing bad in school, I will seek You until my grades improve? Well, what if they never improve? What if my life situation doesn’t improve or gets worse if I seek You. Well, Your praise will always be on my lips. I will seek You until I die, then I will have eternal life.
If I find or feel that everybody hates me or rejects me or says no to me even if I want to help or serve You, O Lord, then I will just seek You and worship You and follow You. People may limit me, it is beyond my control, but I can still choose to seek You and to love You.
God, I’m a nobody, but I remember that song that says I’m just a nobody, trying to tell everybody, somebody who can save everybody. Jesus, I don’t need to be a somebody to preach the gospel. I don’t need to be a somebody to pass out flyers to invite people to Your sanctuary. I don’t need to be a somebody to evangelize. All I need is to be found by You.
In the blockades of the world, You are my heavenly hope. You rain down quail and manna from heaven. You are the God who provides.
Jesus, protect me. Protect me spiritually, soulally, and physically. Protect me, O God, from those who want to do evil against me because I want to proclaim the gospel, because I want to tell others about Jesus.
I wish I live in a freer world, a world where I can just pass out flyers to people, where I can just talk to people, without fear of breaking earthly laws, without fear of rejection. I wish I can live in a world where anywhere I go, I am free and even welcomed to proclaim Your name. Where I am free to throw out my hook.
Now, O Lord, I feel there is no place for me to throw my hook. Anyplace I go, I feel nobodies who want to tell everybody about somebody who can save everybody is not welcomed. But God, no matter how much damage I take, no matter how less support that I have, no matter how much shame and rejection I face, either from the law or from norms, help me to still evangelize. I would rather be arrested for passing out flyers than for a sin of mine. I would rather be arrested for letting my little light shine than to be arrested for having my lamp in darkness.
But I know, O God, that there is a freedom that this world cannot take away, and that is the freedom to pray. The freedom to pray for evangelism. Whether I’m in a jail cell or in the open streets, I can have influence if I pray. Thank You God, and help me to pray.
Songs: Jesus loves You- Stream of Praise