1/16/2016: S-S-Stressful / Fish hook vs Net
11:49pm – 1:03am
Today working at my call center, it’s probably one of my worse days. I can walk the walk, but I can’t talk the talk. :) When I talk to people face-to-face, I can talk much more normally. But, on the phone, and this happens literally every call, I stutter, bad. But, God gave me grace. Customers were nice to me. I was able to deescalate many calls and help them. I praise God that these customers can see past my weaknesses and into my heart. One of the customers today told me not to apologize.
“Please, don’t say sorry [that you stutter],” she said, “one of my friends stutters as well.”
Working at the call center is s-s-stressful for me! I told my supervisor that if I can talk normally like anybody else, I might even love this job.
Today, my supervisor told me to pray for one of my coworkers. I half-thought he was joking, so I giggled a bit. But, he reaffirmed his statement. So, I agreed. Later, I invited that coworker to come to my supernatural church. But, he told me that he’s not a church person and, not wanting to offend him, and partly not knowing how to respond, I let that argument go. At least I tried, right? Yes, but I need to try better.
I’m always so afraid. I’m always so fearful. I’m always afraid of offending someone. But no, God will always find a way out [for me]. I should have told him:
“It doesn’t matter if you are not a church person. We all need God and Christianity is about having a relationship with Him. It’s about having intimacy with Him. Only God can provide all your needs.”
One of the things I want to talk about is the fish hook versus the net. Passive evangelism versus active evangelism. I’m better at passive evangelism. I would rather cast the hook and pray that a fish would bite. I would rather pray to God intimately for revival and then posting Ignite flyers on the Internet and pass tracts out in El Paso hoping that people’s hearts will be changed by the Holy Spirit so they can come. One of my close friends told me when I was selling life insurance that insurance is one of those things where people come to you when they are ready. I feel like religion is the same (except Christianity isn’t a religion). People will come to you when they are ready. But when will people be ready? What if people die before they are ready?
Today, I don’t know if I can write. I’m not feeling it. I can only write well when I have God’s presence and today, I sinned against God by putting my flesh above God. No, I didn’t look at things I shouldn’t be looking at but the sin is in my mind.
In order to evangelize, you have to believe in something so strongly. You have to believe that God is the Way the Truth and the Life. You have to believe that only God can satisfy and that only Jesus is the answer. If I live differently, even an iota, from what I should be preaching, then my message, my evangelism will be hollow. It will be ineffective. Preaching, evangelizing, is an all-or-nothing kind of deal. I can’t preach luke-warmness. That’s religion. I know deep inside that Jesus is the answer, that He is the Way the Truth and the Life, but I fail to live that in my daily living.
Another method of evangelizing is to educate. If people are not ready, we can help them to be ready. Educate them that this world can’t satisfy them. That whatever their hobbies are, or what can make them happy, won’t be enough. Man needs something deeper and only God can fill that void. Educate them about this evil world and how only God can bring them justice. Only God can give them grace. Educate them on how fragile their lives are and how only Jesus can give them eternal life. Just like what I learned in the call center, move them from “no” to “know.”
For God, and for people, catching fish using just fish hooks is not enough. We must be willing to face the suffering and the consequences of active evangelism. Of catching people using nets. It is much more aggressive than passive evangelism. It involves preaching on the streets. Performing signs and wonders. Giving prophecy to people. This kind is much more difficult but the rewards are so much greater. We don’t force people; they can still choose, have free-will, but we beg them to change their ways to follow Christ. In order to do this kind of evangelism, we have to be willing to be ridiculed, to be attacked, to be ignored, to make mistakes, for the name of Jesus.
That is my goal. That is my aim. That my closer walk with Thee can eventually lead me to tell others about Jesus much more actively. A combined approach. Where intercessors pray for souls, where our church’s media team invites the public to come to experience God supernaturally, and where evangelists go to the streets and byways to beg them to come to Christ.
Another topic I’ve been thinking about is counterattack. I wrote earlier in my personal quotes that: “For every sin that you do, you must have a counterattack and for every victory you have, you must have a means to defend against the enemy’s counterattacks.” I can counterattack by repenting, by asking God for forgiveness, by recommitting myself to have a closer walk with God. And I remember Pastor Patty once said that one of the moments that the enemy (Satan) attacks you is when you achieved a victory. Look at how Elijah, after the miracle of fire, shortly afterwards, he asked God to die (1 Kings 18-19). We, I included, need to stop worrying and regretting about when we fall and start instead to counterattack, or take back, what the enemy has stolen from us.
My flesh is so strong. It has years and years of foundations. Just computer games alone would probably account for a quarter of my life. But, as Worshipper Colton Dixon said, “I made my castle tall / I’ve built up every wall / This is my kingdom and it needs to fall.” May God continue to bless me and give me supernatural grace to overcome my flesh, the world, and the enemy. I believe that only God can truly satisfy my every need.