12/17/07

12/17/07

S: 7:16pm (western time) – 11:15am (Taiwan time)
E:

Today, I reached Taiwan. During, and after the trip, I was scared. I was unprepared. It was my first time going to an airport ….

S: 3:24am west. time
E:

I feel very angry right now. Why? Because I can sense that no one really loves me, except my mom. When I go out into the vast city streets, I can feel ignorance, and hate. I feel that no one really cares about me. Yes, even through people interact more, they don’t interact with me. I see gold but I can’t get any, which makes me sadder. I hear loud motorcycles, cars, honks, etc, and I wonder if Taiwan is really a good place to live. In my option, Taiwan is a place of human interaction and nature. You need to feel very human to be there. It is not a place for those who need less socialization.

And, I just heard a trash car playing what? Yes, it is playing the tune of an ice cream truck. Heh, why would a garbage truck play such a sweet melody?

And I feel that people here, especally students, all seem to be “smarter” than me. They tend to have a “superior” way of living. For me, who is raised in America, they treat me as if they are smarter than me. That may be true, but do they really need to show off? A human way of living expresses human sinful attributes such as pride.

And I realized that my own parents, from my mom’s side, are not the perfect loving parent I thought them to be. My grandpa hurts others without knowing it. He ignored me when I talked to him about the superiority of education in Taiwan compared to the US. He said that I earn little money in America from working. Why would he say those things? I think he said them to hurt me. To put me down. I responded back by saying that I earn more money in the US than in Taiwan, but unfortantly, the main target of my attack, my grandpa, was in the bathroom.

Back to the my main journal topic, I feel humans, and thus people, love only those who deserve to be loved. And how do you deserve to be loved? By being disciplined, and useful to society. If you are not, this society will hate you. It would shun you. Even if you are needed by society, individual people may hate you. If you are not needed by society, than nobody will love you. Only a fool, and maybe your parents may stll love you. Jesus said that if you do good to one of the least of men, you did it to me. The Taiwanese society and people are guilty of transgressing this sin.

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